Both our children had a relationship with their birth mothers when they were placed with us. In both cases the birth mothers were unable, rather than unwilling, to take care of their children. Our children have a history that we know very little about. Their birth mothers have some information that only
they can share. By seeing them, we, as well as the children, develop an ongoing relationship and we can ask them about things that the children want to know about from time to time. It also helps the children to understand why they were not able to continue to live with their birth parents. As the child grows up with an awareness rooted in reality of their birth parents, the potential for idealising the birth parent is reduced.