Bullying is something that affects many children either because they are bullied themselves or because they bully others. In either case it comes as a shock to their parents when they discover what is happening and they can feel at a loss as to what to do.

The following guidance may help:

What is bullying?
Bullying can be:
• Verbal – name calling, sarcasm, spreading rumours, persistent teasing.
• Physical – pushing, kicking, hitting, pinching and other forms of violence or threats.
• Emotional – excluding (sending to Coventry), tormenting, ridicule, humiliation.
• Racist – racial taunts, graffiti, gestures.
• Sexual – unwanted physical contact or abusive comments

The effects of persistent bullying can be:
• Depression
• Low self-esteem
• Shyness
• Poor academic achievement
• Isolation
• Threatened or attempted suicide

Possible signs that your child is being bullied:
Children may:
• be frightened of walking to and from school or all change their usual route
• not want to go on school bus
• beg you to drive them to school
• be unwilling to go to school or becomes school phobic
• feel ill in the mornings
• start truanting
• begin doing poorly in their school work
• come home regularly with their clothes or books destroyed
• come home starving (dinner money has been taken)
• become withdrawn, start stammering, lack confidence
• become distressed and anxious, stop eating
• attempt or threaten suicide
• cry themselves to sleep, have nightmares
• have their possessions go missing
• ask for money or start stealing (to pay bully)
• continually "lose" their pocket money
• refuse to talk about what is wrong
• have unexplained cuts, bruises, scratches
• begin to bully other children e.g. brothers and sisters
• become aggressive and unreasonable
• give improbable excuses for any of the above

How you can help:
• If you are worried about your child being bullied ask him or her directly. Children who are being bullied are often frightened to tell anyone, including you, what is happening so they may deny at first that there is
anything wrong. Encourage your child, offering to support and help them, whatever the problem is. Try and find out exactly what has been going on and do not promise to keep the bullying secret. Instead
reassure your child that you will help them sort out the problem.
• Make notes about all bullying incidents.
• Talk to the teacher/head teacher if it is school bullying
• Help your child to practise strategies such as shouting no, walking with confidence and running away.
• If your child seems to be bullied wherever they go it they may need to develop social skills to enable them to talk or play with other children.
• If they have a socially unacceptable habit which is causing them to be bullied e.g. picking their nose then help them to change this behaviour.
• If you feel it would help your child’s self –confidence, ask them if they would like to take self-defence classes.

Further information, advice and help:
See Kidscape at www.kidscape.org.uk.
Sm27.03.02