Raising Your Spirited Child: A guide for parents whose child is more intense, sensitive, perceptive, persistent, energetic.
By Mary Sheedy Kurcinka

We have read a number of books to help us understand our daughter and this has been by far the most helpful. After our social worker lent us a copy of the book my wife eagerly read it from cover to cover.

My busy life started to become interspersed with ‘ this is so perceptive’ and ‘you really should read this book’. Why should I read the book when I have a ready-made critic to filter out the most pertinent areas and update me on anything useful. Its not that I don’t love my daughter deeply or want to find ways to understand and support her, more that as a busy dad with little interest in books I thought spending my time playing and cuddling with her and awaiting my wifes input on potential behaviour strategies was the way forward.

However, having tried out some of the advice in the book and seen some benefits I finally made the effort to read it myself. Suddenly I realised I was a ‘spirited’ parent and my daughter was in many ways a reflection of myself. As I read through the chapters everything seemed to make so much sense. Why had this straightforward understanding of our problems been so elusive for so long. I also began to feel more positive about things, after all my parents did not have the benefit of this book and I don’t think I’ve turned out to badly.

It was occasionally like reading the results of a personality profile carried out by my employer. It felt like the whole world knew about my personality and the stresses of our attempt to be good parents. That in itself is quite frightening on one hand, however, on the other it gives you a boost when you realise and accept you are not the only people dealing with these issues.

I soon came to realise that I needed to modify my behaviour and use my daughter’s intensity, sensitivity and energy as positive traits on which to help her build confidence for the future. The world is such that she will have to cope with ‘spirited’ behaviour from others. This book has given us the opportunity to understand her more and hopefully make the difference as she moves through her life.

We have noticed an improvement in our daughter’s behaviour and ability to deal with disappointment in a more mature way. This is something that has not changed overnight and a number of our friends believe it’s just her age (she is 7) and that she is slowly growing out of it. There may of course be an element of this, however without the ideas in this book and a newfound understanding of my own ‘spirit’ we are sure things would not have improved as much. We have now found a way to appreciate her for what she is and are confident of a positive future.

We would recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand and help their child, whom in all likelihood just has a little bit ‘more’ of everything than other children.